I find myself in a jumble of emotions today. I can't help but feel a bit saddened by Russell Brand hosting the MTV music awards while simultaneously every nerve in my body screams with delight at another opportunity to lustily watch my beloved comedian for two whole hours!
While I love presenting my darling friends with random prezzies and doing whatever I can to get them to smile and brim with feelings of the warm fuzzies, I honestly don't share all that well. Sister Helen Scarry, my second grade teacher, would be sorely disappointed. And so I find myself torn between accepting that the rest of los Estados Unidos will now be more apt to share my love for Mr. Brand and I will perhaps be subjected to seeing little teeny boppers wearing annoyingly short tees that display their prepubescent pierced belly buttons that read "Mrs. Russell Brand," or standing up for what is rightfully mine and sneaking up on these little Hannah Montanas and sticking a wad of gum in their hair in an act of "Step off, bitch! He's mine!!" revenge. I told you, I don't share well. I was born without the Care Bear "Sharing is Caring" gene.
While I sort out my bitter feelings and try to calm my schizo tendencies, I will be taking comfort in Russell's autobiography "My Booky Wook," a tale of sex, drugs, and general debauchery.
I even bribed my father with pouty faces and indentured servitude (basically running to the store to pick up fudgesicles...ew...and coca cola for him) so that he would record the awards on DVD for me. Alas, he could not only tape the Russell Brand parts, so I will be doing much fast forwarding. I haven't even watched the MTV music awards since high school when I had an epiphany and realized MTV was the Antichrist who manifested himself in the form of a music channel that only played reality television. So Russell, that is true love and dedication to you, your ginormously large, feathered hair and your painted on, quite revealing pants.
While I love presenting my darling friends with random prezzies and doing whatever I can to get them to smile and brim with feelings of the warm fuzzies, I honestly don't share all that well. Sister Helen Scarry, my second grade teacher, would be sorely disappointed. And so I find myself torn between accepting that the rest of los Estados Unidos will now be more apt to share my love for Mr. Brand and I will perhaps be subjected to seeing little teeny boppers wearing annoyingly short tees that display their prepubescent pierced belly buttons that read "Mrs. Russell Brand," or standing up for what is rightfully mine and sneaking up on these little Hannah Montanas and sticking a wad of gum in their hair in an act of "Step off, bitch! He's mine!!" revenge. I told you, I don't share well. I was born without the Care Bear "Sharing is Caring" gene.
While I sort out my bitter feelings and try to calm my schizo tendencies, I will be taking comfort in Russell's autobiography "My Booky Wook," a tale of sex, drugs, and general debauchery.
I even bribed my father with pouty faces and indentured servitude (basically running to the store to pick up fudgesicles...ew...and coca cola for him) so that he would record the awards on DVD for me. Alas, he could not only tape the Russell Brand parts, so I will be doing much fast forwarding. I haven't even watched the MTV music awards since high school when I had an epiphany and realized MTV was the Antichrist who manifested himself in the form of a music channel that only played reality television. So Russell, that is true love and dedication to you, your ginormously large, feathered hair and your painted on, quite revealing pants.
P.S. This is why I love him. He has this persona of a slightly off, perhaps idiotic man but he does it so ridiculously eloquently. I have an inkling that he may be one of the most brilliant men...ever. He has the best quote about the election...hands down!
"Please elect Barack Obama on behalf of the world," Russell Brand said. "Some people-- I think they're called racists" may not be ready to elect a black man, he said, adding, "It was nice of you to let that retarded cowboy have a go at it."
"Please elect Barack Obama on behalf of the world," Russell Brand said. "Some people-- I think they're called racists" may not be ready to elect a black man, he said, adding, "It was nice of you to let that retarded cowboy have a go at it."
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